Friday, August 1, 2008

Reasons NOT to get Pregnant again right away

So in battling my thoughts of baby hunger I came up with a few reasons why pregnancy SUCKS.

1. Barfing.

I did not have a terrible time with barfing during pregnancy. I was nauseas unless eating for a few weeks, but I only barfed two times. BUT when I did Barf, boy did I ever. Barf #1 I was in the habit of riding my bike to and from work (about a half hour ride each way) because Branden was taking the car to school in Toronto. I did this through most of my first trimester until one horrible fateful day. I began my ride home and it started to pour, unfortunate, but it was okay. I get halfway home and my chain falls off my bike causing me to fall into a bush, unfortunate and totally embarrassing, but fine. I put my chain back on and continue riding into the wind and rain when I start to feel nauseas and BARF and it all shoots back all over me as I rush along on my bike. SOOO not cool and that was the end of my pregnancy bike riding. Barf #2 Branden and I are in bed one night and he decides he has excess boogies so decides to snot rocket into his hand (a habit I find soo disgusting) but the boy misses his hand and his booger hits me in my cheek and I immediately vomit all over myself, him and the bed.

2. Fat Feet.

I hated my fat feet when I was pregnant. The last 3 weeks my feet hurt like heck and weighed about three thousand pounds, it was sooo disgusting!

3. Heart Burn.

I honestly had the WORST heartburn when I was pregnant. I had a prescription that I took double dose and I still had brutal heartburn most of the time. Man I can live without that.

4. This picture
I am the pure essence of white trash in this picture. Somehow Branden caught me walking out of my trailer that I don't own and I look as ghetto as can be. Although I know I didn't look like this all pregnancy, just the fact that I could at some point return to this level of white trash lookingness should keep me from ever procreating again.

Okay so whenever I feel baby hunger hopefully these thoughts will cross my mind and it will hold me off until Jack is atleast a year.


Sarah Webb said...


You know, I don't remember ever having heartburn until I was pregnant. So I finally learned what it feels like. I could have done without that lesson.

My goodness to the barfing in bed story! Wow, great story to tell. Not so much to live.

Oh and you forgot loss of bladder control. Another thing that never happened to me til I was pregnant. :(

Anonymous said...

I know you don't have to deal with this anymore but I just had to tell you that I can relate. I too had bad heartburn (taking swigs of Maalox like every couple of hours)and i hated that but I'm kind of vain and I hated my fat feet and swollen ankles so much more than heartburn. ugh! Soooooo ugly! Even now when it's hot and I've been on my feet for a while my feet and ankles swell. It's not as bad but I hope it does not happen to you.

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