Saturday, July 26, 2008

Baby Hunger Already?

When I first had Jack, the first month or so I remember that people would always say to me how much they missed having a new born, what a great time it was and how seeing Jack made them want to have another baby. And I remember thinking to myself "are these people insane!". For the first month of Jack's life I was convinced he would be an only child. I mean I loved him and was enjoying every minute as much as I could, but at the same time I was only getting maybe 4 hours of sleep a day, the horror of his birth was still fresh in my mind and the hideousness of pregnancy still loomed over my head (as well as the aftermath on my physique) But honestly a few weeks ago I started really, really wanting another baby and to be pregnant ASAP. Who would have thought it would happen so soon. I honestly feel so baby hungry and like I want to get pregnant again right now. Its really weird for me because I've never really had that baby hunger thing. I always knew I wanted children in a vagure future sense and Jack just kind of happened and I'm so delighted to have him, but i never had this baby hunger that now plagues me. Obviously I won't be getting pregnant again right now, it would just be too much of a sacrifice at the moment. For me and for Jack because I would have to go back to work now when Jack is so little,instead of when he is one so I could qualify for another maternity leave and I"m just not prepared to leave him yet (it will be hard enough when he is a year, I can't even imagine it at 2.5 months). I seriously just think its wierd to want another so soon when at first I just thought I would never desire to do all that again.

Toe Jam

If I have on fault (besides my witch nose and di-chi) that I had hoped would not be passed onto my son it would be my stinky feet. Honest to goodness, ashamed as I am to admit this, I have the stankiest feet you ever could smell. I think once we were married and Branden discovered this he was honestly quite horrified and debated strongly running in the opposite direction. Honestly it is so bad and I'm not ever exagerating. When I was a teenager I left a pair of my stankified shoes in the car and my Father (who is quite possibly one of the most patient and kindest men on earth) could not stand the smell so much on his short drive to work that he actually threw them out the window. In the summer (when the stink gets particularily bad and I"m not wearing socks to cushion the stinky blow) Branden kindly requests that I wash my feet before I come near him. When I was pregnant and too fat to cut my own toe nails or paint them and Branden had to do it for me, his only requirement for his services was that I wash those feet in scalding hot water before he touched them. He never once massaged my aching pregnant feet because the reak was just unbearable. I really did not want my dear boy to have to suffer this debilitating stink that I have (if I wear sandals to a friends house, I have to bring socks in my purse to cover up the stink once I'm in if I want them to remain friends with me).

But I was not lucky enough for this curse to have passed over my dear baby. He honestly has the stinkiest feet ever and for some reason his stinky little toes accumulate vast amounts of toe jam. Like so much toe jam that he cannot properly keep his toes close together if we don't clean it out every few days. This toe jam REAKS so bad and after I clean it up my fingers smell so bad I want to die and seriously how does someone so little get so much toe jam!?! I honestly feel bad for Jack he has my stinky feet and his Dad's stinky toots. The kid is BOUND to be a social reject!

Things that Make me a Bad Mother

In general I think I'm a pretty good Mother. I keep my son alive and happy for the most part, but there are several things that definately bring the quality of my mothering skills into question. (by the by the "for the most part" totally applies to the happy part, not the alive part no worries!)

1. Whenever Jack gets so upset that he begins throwing a right fit, I just watch. I hold him up in standing position and watch him scream and pout and stomp his little feet just because he looks so funny/slash/cute doing it. I even go so far as to call Branden over to watch with me and we both laugh as Jack gets more and more upset (in the most adorable way possible)
2. I think it is absolutely hilarious when Branden is holding Jack and Jack gets upset and Branden then deals with this by threatening Jack that he will never teach him to ride his bike,therefore making him a social reject if he doesn't get it under control.
3. I strongly encourage him and even force the poor little 2 month old to pick his nose. I HATE his baby boogies, those suction things suck and my fingers are far to fat for his nose, so I use his finger to grab those little baby boogies. This will so make my baby that creepy kid in the corner who picks his nose in public, but oh well.

I'm sure there will be many more that come up over the months and years, so perhaps I will keep a running list.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Two Days Late Two Facts for Two Months

Branden thinks Jack looks like the Devil here.

Its hard to believe that as of yesturday my little Jackers is already two months. Its gone by shockingly fast (especially since I never thought the first week would end). But he is two months so here are my two facts about Jack.

1. Jack is at the stage in his development where he will latch onto just about everything and anything you put close enough to him. His favourite thing to latch onto is his Daddy's nose. It's pretty hilarious to watch as Jack sucks away on Branden's big ol' nose. But he definately doesn't limit it just to noses, he's latched onto cheeks, collar bones, arms, pretty much anything you put in front of him.

2. Jack has become quite the little copy cat. It is so fun to watch him because he will study his Daddy or me and try his very hardest to imitate what it is we are doing. From pulling weird faces, to noises we make, pretty much anything we do he will try to copy (as long as he's paying attention to us) its really adorable because his face gets so serious and studious while he is doing it.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Sleeping with his Daddy

Jack is a fairly early riser, he's usually up before I would want to be between 6 and 7 most days. Usually this leaves me and him up to say goodbye to Branden as he heads out the door to work, but on Sundays Branden is still sleeping when Jack gets up. I have to shower and get ready and etc. so Branden has to take care of Jack while I do all those things. A few Sundays ago I came into the bedroom after my shower to discover this adorable sight.

Jack had apparently fallen back asleep next to Branden on the bed who had also fallen back asleep. I had to snap a million pictures because it was just far to adorable.

Cousin Love

You know you love your newest little cousin when he can take a deuce on your lap and you are still smiling and loving him. Recently my oldest niece Jenna, who is 13, came over to visit little Jack for the first time, she was sitting in the chair holding him when he erupted in a loud, long gurgling from his tushy. We were all laughing at the beasty sound and I was heading over to get Jack to change him when Jenna felt a little bit of warmth on her lap. His poop had erupted from his diaper and landed all over her lap. Poor little girl! She took it well though, cleaned herself up while I cleaned up Jack. Laughed her way through it and even happily held him again afterwards. In fact we noticed a little later that the poo stain remaining on her jeans was in the shape of a heart. Apparently Jack was just letting her know how much he loved her.

Future Gamer

Anyone who knows Branden knows that he loves video games/computer games/gaming in general. I know deep in his heart he is very glad that we have a boy and really hopes that this boy will love gaming with his Father and I think his wishes will come true. Jack loves sitting on his father's lap while Branden plays play station or computer or whatever and staring at the screen. I'm pretty sure Jack just loves the fast flashing lights of various colours, but he certainly is content just chillin' with his Daddy and playing games.


Jack screaming like he does when a "hurpee" hits!

Jack, like many other babies, gets the hiccups pretty much all the time. They are not the normal hiccups that I am used to, they are body shaking hiccups that take over his entire existence and they come one right after another with no break. These hiccups enrage Jack like you would not believe, he screams, he cries and throws a regular fit. He gets himself so upset that he doesn't even notice when they are gone and screams well past the point they have disappeared.

Even worse than these horrendous hiccups though are his hurpee's. The "hurpee" is a combination of a hiccup and a burp and they shake his little body to the core like you would not believe. He hiccups and burps simultaneously and its just a catastrophe. When Branden and I here a hurpee erupt from Jack's little mouth we cringe in terror at the fit that will inevitably ensue as we watch our poor son suffer through this horrible plague and scream and scream and scream. In my little world now, the hurpee is the worst thing that could happen in a day.

Kisses for Mommy

For the last week or so I've been trying to teach Jack how to kiss. He's making much progress, he's at the point now that if you show him your going to kiss him by making kissy faces right in front of his face for a few minutes and then go in and loudly kiss his cheek and then put your cheek in front of him he will bite at your cheek and then smile proudly at the kiss he has given you.

Yesturday though he made the cutest kissing improvements ever. I was holding him and we were staring at eachother and I kept making kissy faces and noises at him and he was just staring at me trying to figure out how to make the noises and he kept trying different things with his mouth to immitate me. He finally settled on sucking in his top lip until it smacks. It was soo cute and he smiled so much when he finally got the sound and just looked so proud of himself.

And now as I sit here typing he is lying in his carseat and sucking in his top lip to make kissy sounds for me. Man do I love my little man. He's just cuter and funner every day!

Swimming with Grandma and Grandpa

Jack and I just returned from a two day visit at my parents house. My parents swim every morning for an hour and the two days we were there Jack and I accompanied them. It was Jack's first swimming experience so I was a little nervous to see how he would react. He loves baths, but swimming is a whole new experience. Luckily the pool they swim at has a warm pool so he didn't have to deal with the shock of the cold.

My worries were very unfounded though, Jack loved swimming and especially doing so with his Grandpa. He smiled and laughed and stared at my Dad the whole time, he had a blast and he loves being bounced around the pool with my Mom water splashing in his face and all. I think I will have a swimmer on my hands.

And the major plus to swimming is that although Jack loves it apparently it also totally exhausts him because he slept like nuts both days after his exhausting swim.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Fists of Fury

My dear and wonderful son Jack has fists of fury. He could honestly challenge Chuck Norris as he is constantly prepared for a fight. Whenever Jack is sleeping, sitting, laughing, smiling, playing, bathing, ANYTHING he has his little hands bunched into fists held tightly in front of his little body. It is so cute and completely adorable until he turns those little fists of fury against you.

Whenever Jack gets annoyed, frustrated or mad at me or just in general he uses those fist of fury to inflict harm and it hurts as shockingly large amount. He will punch me right in the face when I'm feeding him if he doesn't like something I have done. He has punched me in the throat when he has a dooky diaper and I'm not taking care of it fast enough and the piece to resistance the other night when I was feeding him I saw that little fist start going and suddenly he unclenched it a slapped me, open palmed right across the face.

For real my child is going to be a figher and VIOLENT, I think I'll have to find a healthy way to filter this as soon as possible.

Sleep Deprivation=Insanity

With a young baby the Mother tends to be slightly sleep deprived at all times and this weekend was one that I was especially sleep deprived thanks to my painful toe. Last night at approximately 2am I woke Branden up and asked him to take Jack back to his room. Branden looks at my chest and there is no Jack, I look at my chest and there is no Jack. Branden starts frantically looking around for Jack convinced that since I said he was in the room he must be. He looks beside me, on the floor, under the covers and is really starting to get upset at this point quite sure that I have rolled over on our child and killed him. We are both starting to freak out when I realize. I didn't have Jack with me I had fed him on the couch and returned him to his crib earlier and had gone to bed myself. Apparently I had just gone insane in that time and thought he was still with me. It was quite a relief when we realized Jack was happily asleep in his crib, safe and sound and the only problem he had in life at the moment was a sleep deprived and insane Mother.

My Life the Catastrophe

All of my life I've been a bit of a klutz. Physical catastrophe is always just around the corner for me and this weekend showed that to an extreme.

On Friday afternoon I was sitting on the couch reading the weekly flyers, which I LOVE, when what should appear in the Zellers flyer but a giant moth. Only I'm a tard and I didn't realize it was a moth (in my defense it was the biggest moth of ALL TIME!) I thought it was a small bird that would attack me at any moment. So I dropped the flyers and ran across the room smacking my shin off a random pole in the middle of our kitchen/slash/living room. It hurt soo bad and Branden ran to my rescue with the flyers to realize it was just a moth. I hid my injury from him because it was embarassing enough to have run from a moth he didn't need to know about my shin smacking on top of that.

Later on that same day on Friday I was getting ready to go out, I had my shoes on and was just rinsing off some dirty dishes at the kitchen sink before I left for the evening and the cupboard under the sink was open (because thats where we put our garbage and apparently I had forgotten to close it after my last garbage deposit) so as I turned to leave the kitchen I tripped on the open cupboard door, went sprawling across the kitchen floor, broke my $3 old navy sandal and landed directly on/slash/in a giant full garbage bag that we had been collecting to take out. Branden could not stop mocking me, it was just too funny for him.

Later on again this same day when I was returning from my outing at about 12:30 at night, I was walking back to our apartment from the car with Jack in tow and we live in the basement of a house so our entrance is around the back and down a set of stairs. Now we have a motion activated out door light back there because it is so dark and we need it, however ours is slightly ghetto and set to come on when you are like 3 feet from it which puts you 3/4 of the way down the treacherous stair case before it comes on. This has never been much of a problem because our next door neighbour has a far more generously set motion activated light that always comes on the second you enter the driveway to light your way down. Unfortunately our neighbours light was not turned on this day so I had nothing to light my way back. So, inevitably as I reached the staircase catastrophe ensued. About five steps from the bottom I slipped and fell down the stairs, dropping Jack. I was soo concerned for him, but he was fine. His carseat just landed softly on the ground below and he didn't even wake up. I, on the other hand, was not okay. My foot was mangled, I had a huge scrape on my leg and my big toe was jammed and in so much pain I couldn't get up. So I had to ring the doorbell and Branden came running to find me crumpled at the front door, crying like a nerd with our baby's carseat sprawled beside me. Once he got over his worry, he immediately laughed, which in turn infuriated me because I really hurt myself. But like always when Branden makes fun of me as much as it annoys me its so funny that I end up laughing and he never takes my fury seriously. UGH! Anyways my toe is still so demented, it is fat and bruised (a picture below for you, but it doesn't show it very well). It hurt so bad that night I didn't sleep at all, I had to hobble through garage saleing the next morning and the Date Branden had planned for us the next day (more on that later) had to be changed due to my retarded foot. Then last night I was so tired from my lack of sleep the night before that this morning we slept in right through church. We so never do that and I am quite shocked that Jack let this occur because it meant him sleeping 3.5 hours straight in the morning, which is a miracle. Especially considering that the rest of the night up until then he had been up every 1 to 1.5 hours.

Here is my hideous toe explosion for you.

And now I will share some other remarkable klutz stories from my past for your reading pleasuring. Consider them the highlights of my very klutzy life.

When Branden and I were first married,in our first very ghetto apartment I was searching in our hall closet one day for something as Branden was in the other room watching some TV. All of a sudden from the other room he hears me scream and comes running to find me collapsed on the floor, again crying pathetically with a hammer beside me. When I was searching through the hall closet a stinkin' HAMMER fell from the top shelf and hit me on the head. Can you even imagine?? It hurt soooo stinking badly, but it was so ridiculous that I had to laugh through my tears as Branden mocked me mercilessly.

Again in mine and Branden's first apartment I was in the kitchen one day getting dinner ready and Branden was in there helping me and had gotten a dish out of one of the upper cupboards for me and left the cupboard open. Several moments later I turned around quickly to do something and smacked my head right off the open cupboard. It hurt so bad so I immediately turned around to yell at/slash/lecture Branden about not leaving cupboard doors open. After several moments of that I returned to my making of dinner and as I turned around immediately smacked my head off the same open cupboard again that I had left open. I was in quite a bit of pain at the second smacking and turned around to yell at Branden again to find him laughing hysterically. Obviosly the second hit was fully my own fault. It was just ridiculous, but oh so painful.

The final story I will share (but trust me there are many, many more that remain unshared for various reasons) happened when I was rather young, 13 or 14 or so. When I was that age we had a basketball net in the front of our driveway pretty close to the street. I was outside playing basketball and quite enjoying myself when I saw the boy I had a crush on at that time skateboarding down the street. I immediately decided that he needed to see me looking like a superstar basketball player so I dribbled up to the net for an impressive layup. Only I wasn't watching what I was doing, I was instead staring directly at him like a GIANT nerd as I dribbled and I ran right into the pole. I fell back and my nose was bleeding and he just continued on by laughing at me. Needless to say he never did return my crush.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Jack's Blessing

Sunday my baby boy Jack was blessed and it was pretty much the greatest day I have had in a long, long time. So many of our family and friends were able to come and to assist with the blessing. My Aunts and Uncles were there, my cousins, my sister and her husband, Branden's parents and brothers, my brother, his wife and their three girls who I have not seen in ages, old friends and new friends just about everyone who means something to us was there. It was such a special blessing and being a big sap of a mother now I of course cried while Branden was doing the blessing. I totally neglected to write any of it down though oops.

Afterwards everyone stayed for a lunch which was really nice and we were able to chat with everyone and everyone got to hold Jack. He was totally the most popular guy of the day (obviously). I just love that everyone that meets my little guy loves him. I know the same is true for all babies, but I like to pretend he is special. And he definately is a very, very loved baby.

I made a special cake for the lunch like a big nerd. I took me 6 hours on Saturday. It's a pirate ship cake because I couldn't think of a blessing themed cake and Jack LOVES to be a pirate (more on that later) so I thought it fit.

So to my captain Jack, your pirate cake.

After the lunch our families and Russell and Jamie came back to our apartment and we played WII.. soo much fun!

For your viewing pleasure the whole Timon/MacLean clan. I do wish we'd gotten a cousin/aunts/uncles picture too, but oh well!

Smiles for Daddy

Jack has been smiling a ton more lately. He's turned into quite the smiley dude. But about a week and a half ago, when most smiles were still in response to farts he had the cutest little smiling fest with his Daddy. Branden and I were changing his diaper and outfit together (why oh why do so many of my blog posts have to do with Jack's diapers?) and we had finished with the diaper but he was not dressed yet. I was picking out the outfit for the day so Branden was playing with Jack and kissing his bare belly and every time that Branden kissed his Belly he would smile so huge and look right at his Daddy. It was so cute and it made me decide that already Jack thinks Branden is more fun than I am. I will have to work to correct that right away so I can get that many cute smiles.

Disgusted by Himself

So two days ago I was changing Jack's diaper and it was just a pee diaper, nothing disgusting at all. But while he had his diaper off he let the most enormous toot ever rip, it was gross and I was afraid it was more than air. It wasn't, but I still looked at him and made a disgusted face and said you are a gross, disgusting man and what does my son do, but make a disgusted face right back at me. Apparently he also finds his toots disgusting. I wish I had captured a picture of it, because it was so precious and adorable.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Pretty Much the Worst Day EVER!

So the title of this blog says it all. Today is pretty much the worst day I've ever had. It started good. Jack and I were up early and I was playing with him on the floor and he laughed for the first time ever. He's been smiling loads lately (I have a blog in the works on that), but this was the first laugh and it was so cute and just melted my heart, but to follow up that moment of sheer ecstasy came many moments of sheer torture.

At 8:30 this morning we went to have Jack circumcised and by we, I mean me as Branden couldn't get the day of work at the last minute. I wasn't too worried about it. From talking with other friends it didn't sound too bad, they didn't go in the baby was gone for a bit, came back and was pretty much fine. Seems most of my friends little babies barely noticed after the fact. Jack, however, was not so lucky.

First I made the mistake of going in. I don't know why, I just never really saw the opportunity to not go in, the nurse just shuttled me around and never asked if I wanted to be there, just assumed so being the pansie that I am I stayed. They set Jack up in the most hideous contraption and pinned down his little legs. He was not impressed by this and promptly tried to kick out of his restraints and in so doing forced out a huge poop. Fight the power Jack. Then they started to put the local anaesthesia (with a big scary needle) into his little pee pee doodle and he peed on the doctor. Fight the Power Jack! Finally they got him strapped in, properly emptied and anaesthetised and he just kept on kicking. It terrified me because I was afraid the doctor might miss with all his flailings!

Then the procedure began and let me warn all future mothers of sons DO NOT WATCH. Oh my holy heck is it horrific. I will not go into graphic details because you will all vomit and cry. Anyways I watched, what was I doing!! I felt so dumb, I was trying to comfort him, but the nurse had to comfort me because I kept half crying. My poor baby boy!! He wasn't too bad during the procedure, just mild fussing so I thought it would be okay. But when we got home and the freezing wore off, holy heck. I have never heard my little boy cry so hard or so long, I gave him baby tylenol and it worked a bit, but he still drifted in and out of sleep and when he was out he was screaming.

Thankfully Branden got off work early so we could trade off and get breaks for the screaming boy who was totally glued to either of our chests.. its been such a terrible afternoon! We just gave him a bath because you have to everyday and I was prepared for massive screaming, but he loved it! LOVED IT! Splashed around and smiled and kicked, we left him in their until he started to wrinkle and it seems to have calmed him because its been a whole 10 minutes and no crying. Hopefully this sticks and he is better, because my heart is breaking and honestly I'm a mess whenever he cries, I cry> its quite pathetic and I feel for my poor husband.

All I have to stay is the next baby, if its a boy, is going uncut!