Thursday, March 26, 2009

Sunday Ponderings

This Sunday in church I had the rare opportunity to actually listen to all the talks (Branden had Jack out in the hall). My good friend Heather was talking about marriage etc. and one thing that she said really stood out to me. It was a quote I had heard before, but hadn't remember and to be honest I still don't remember who she said it was by. Someone amazingly spiritual and intelligent I'm sure. Anyways it was something to the effect that We need to have our eyes wide open to our own faults and half closed to the faults of our spouse.

This really struck a chord with me. In general I am acutely aware of my many, many faults. I am a deeply flawed person and I don't kid myself to pretend I'm not. Most days I spend perhaps too much time focused on my own faults. Although to be honest not in a constructive, better fix em', way; more in a I stink and boo hoo kind of way. I so need to work on being more constructive with them. Anyways, TANGENT, the point is most days I am so fully aware of my faults and Branden's tend to fade into the background. Most days I think he's quite delightful, wonderful and perfect.

BUT for some BIG reason whenever we get into a disagreement, arguement, a battle of wills my eyes immidiately shut to my own long list of faults and focus in like a laser on his. WHAT THE HECK! This makes life so much the more difficult for both of us and I'm not sure why I do it.

So this quote really struck home to me. I am going to try more and more each day to focus on my own faults and not focus on feeling sorry for myself over them but focus on being better on fixing them and becoming the kind of person I want to be. AND I'm going to clear the laundry list of Brandens faults right out of my mind.... well atleast try on that one I"m sure its easier said then done.

Wish me Luck.

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