Do you ever have one of those days where you are just at the end of your rope. Today is that day for me. My nerves have been frayed all day. Jack and I have been sick, sick, sick the last few days and we're getting over it now, but we're still exhausted and not quite right. Jack was a trooper when he was super sick. He was so good and barely cried through a hacking cough, massive fever, near dehydration, not eating for almost 24 hours straight and boogery face, but now that he just has the remnants of the cough and boogers he is so whiney! and I feel terrible because he's honestly been getting on my nerves all day. How does an 8 month old get on my nerves you may ask?
Well first, he's not eating and that equals pain and confusion and worry and well annoyance for his Mommy. He's slowly been working his way onto more solids and off of more breastmilk the last few months, but he still needs a few milk feedings each day and night, but since he's been sick he's been refusing which leaves me feeling like I'm about to burst. Add to that he doesn't refuse in a polite manner. He screams, kicks and fights me and when I get him close enough he bites, gnashes, scratches and pushes at me. It is painful and oh so annoying! And I just don't get why he's doing it! ARGH!
Next, he is just not himself. He is usually so much fun, he's a really independent and chill kid. He loves attention, but is also fine taking care of entertaining himself when I'm busy as long as he can see me. But the last few days he's just been fussing and whining and crying and wanting up, and then down and then up and then down. ARGH!
Anyways, add all these things to the fact that I am still sick and I am at the end of my rope tonight. As soon as Jack went to bed (early after another frusterating feeding attempt) I lied down to rest and do NOTHING tonight thinking I deserved it, but then I started to think and first I thought and felt bad for being so easily frusterated with Jack. I mean he's sick and I'm sure there is a good reason for his odd behaviour in there somewhere and he's just a baby. So I got up, slumped down the hall to his room kissed him and apologized for being such a short tempered Mommy. Then I came back to do nothing, then I realized that doing nothing is BORING and was not going to make me feel any better so I started a most delightful craft project (the details of which I will reveal when its done). and now I'm here writing about to go to bed and suddenly I feel like I can handle life again, I feel like a better Mommy because when Jack woke up a bit ago I cuddled and rocked him and he actually ate! yay! I just hope tomorrow brings me alot more patience then today had.