A Poop and a Smile

Earlier today I was sitting on the couch, typing away on the computer while Jack snoozed happily in his swing when I hear a pile of grunts arupt from him. Now grunts from my Jackers mean one of two things. A-that he is about to wake up and want to eat IMMEDIATELY or B-that he is about to let it rip. So I sat listening and waiting to see which of these two issues I would need to attend to. Then I hear it an absolutely giant and very, very wet toot and then my little boy smiles as wide as I've ever seen him do. I guess it was a major relief to him. I get up to attend to the problem, when I hear it again another very large, very wet toot followed by a giant smile full of relief. At this point I start to worry, two huge, wet toots like this in a row is danger zone. I pick him up to go change his dookie diaper and Branden sees it, the poop brigade making its way out of Jack's diaper and onto his outfit. This is never a pleasant thing to deal with.

At this point I continue down the hallway to change his diaper cursing the elastics on his Huggies giving way to the rush of poop and Branden heads to the shower as he had just finished work. I removed Jack's clothes and diaper and was placing the new diaper under him when it occured, a rush of pee streaming all over the change table and Jack himself. I curse myself for not covering him up quickly as I normally do as I cleaned up him and the changetable and just as I set him down it happens again a stream of pee shoots up and it gets all over his face and the changetable and everything. He and the table were soaked and a wipe was just not going to do the trick. So I run into the bathroom where Branden is showering with the door locked and yell at him over the water to let Jack and I in. Which he tries to do, but takes forever because his hands were soapy and he couldn't get the door unlocked and open. All this time he is fiddling with the door I am holding a buvck naked Jack PRAYING he does not poop or pee on me. Finaly Branden gets the door open and I shove Jack into the shower with him fully expecting a Jack meltdown, but knowing he needed shower power to take care of the disgusting mess he had just made. But not freak out was heard, he loved the shower and was smiling away as his Dad showered him down. It was the most adorable thing I had ever seen and if it hadn't involved two naked members of my family I would have taken a picture.

Branden finishes showering Jack and passes him out to me where I have the only towel available (a giant man sized towel, not baby towel) waiting to dry of Jack when what does Jack do, but vomit all over himself and the towel. UGH! What a messy boy, deciding to empty himself everywhere from every end all at once. It was such a hilarious/slash/cute catastrophe.

And here is a picture of him after all that was said and done.

The Best and Worst Baby??

Since Branden and I have had Jack we've noticed that just about everyone likes to regale you with stories of how their baby is the best baby, the brightest baby, the strongest and most beautiful baby, but also how there baby is the worst, hardest to raise, least sleeping, most fussy baby. And we've come to wonder how on earth can your baby be both the best and the worst baby in the world.

I'm pretty sure that what people want you to believe is that their baby is the best baby ever (which of course if all parents were being honest we ALL believe), but also that they are the best, most hard working parent. Which in all honesty is hard not to believe as well. There are many nights when I am waking up for the 12th time with my little Jack that I in my state of sleep deprived delerium honestly believe that no parent ever was this patient or loving as I am at that very moment.

When I observe other parents in the same sentence telling me of the perfectness, yet utter horridity of their child I laugh inside and think how ridiculous they are. Then when I get home that night and watch my precious baby lift his head and kick his legs and smile at his Mommy I think what a perfect child I have and as I maintain my composure while he screams into my ear for hours on end at 3am I find myself thinking what a hard baby he is and how wonderful I am. Its really quite ridiculous and I am then forced to laugh at myself.

The truth is that in most aspects I am a perfectly average parent and in most aspects Jack is a perfectly average child. We all have our amazing points. My little man has some of the strongest legs I've ever seen in an infant and even the doctors think he is super alert and good with neck control But will that matter in 5 years, or even 5 weeks. No. All that matters is that I love my little boy more than anything and he loves me and that makes me a great parent and him a great baby.

Sleep Precious Sleep

As I previously posted last week was a bad week for Jack. Fortunately near the end of the week we discovered Gripe Water (best thing ever!) which took care of his painful gas and helped him to sleep more. So the past 3 nights have been decent and he's only woken up 3 or 4 times, its been delightful. Add to that my wonderful husband who in payment for me letting him go golfing Saturday morning at 7am and then head immediately to Brampton for a boys day returning around midnight really supplemented my sleep the rest of the weekend AND changed more than his fair share of diapers. First my wonderful son timed his first wake up Saturday night for the exact second his Father walked in the door so Branden stayed up with Jack (for 2 hours, apparently he thought it was play time) while I slept right on through. Then Sunday afternoon he kept Jack quite for me and moved away from me when Jack wasn't quite so I could have a nap and then today he was home from work due to massive amounts of rain yesturday and provided me yet another nap! I don't think I've felt this well rested since Jack was born! I love my husband and my son for letting me catch up on my precious sleep and I"m quite sure they both in turn love me more since I"m not such a grouchasaurus anymore.

The Umbilical Cord Story

If you know Branden and I at all you know almost every important event in our life passes with some sort of catastrophe or entertaining story attached to it. We don't seem to be able to pass any milestone without some sort of hitch, which usually frustrating at the time becomes a hilarious story to tell our friends afterwards. The loss of Jack's umbilical cord was another in our long line of catastrophic stories, however it was only hilarious not at all frustrating.

When Jack was just over a week old (8 days to be precise) we went over to our friends Jon and Jenn's house for dinner on a Sunday evening. After dinner Jenn and I were changing Jack's diaper and discussing how his umbilical cord was about to come off in the next day or two, we were looking right at and discussing the umbilical cord as we re-dressed him so we should have seen what happened next, but we somehow missed it.

Several moments later we notice their dog Bailey had something in her mouth, we went to check what it was and lo and behold it was Jack's umbilical cord. Jon quickly rushed to save the precious stem cells from Bailey and was left with the fear that Bailey would grow a second tongue. It was ridiculous!! We have no clue how it happened, but iy was quite catastrophic and quite hilarious. I made sure to document the momentous occasion in photo's. So for your viewing pleasure...

This is the culprit, Bailey.






This is Branden disgustedly throwing out the umbilical cord.




Me, the proud Mama that he finally lost his revolting umbilical cord.




My disgusting shirt, after the cord fell off I got precious stem cells all skid marky down my shirt from cuddling Jack.

Solicited Advice

As a new mother you receive all kinds of advice from well meaning, more experienced Mothers. Some of it is unsolicited and quite obnoxious at times as you feel everyone thinks you are the worst new mother of all time. There is however a wonderful kind of advice, the solicited kind.

Other than my Mother (who I consult on a daily basis and would probaly die without) I have one main source I go to when I'm in need of advice and that is my good friend Jenn. Jenn is the one who taught me how to work a breast pump when I had no clue, showed me the ins and outs of carseats when I had no clue and many, many more things.

This morning she helped me once again as I floundered through another new experience for me and Jack. Jenn, Ben, Jack and I all spent the morning Garage Saleing (a new Saturday morning tradition) and then we went back to Jenn's house, while at Jenn's house my dear baby Jack had the biggest poop I have ever seen in all my life. Jack is a frequent pooper, having 4 to 8 poops per day so there is never very much in there and it most certainly never explodes out the sides. So I don't know what was happening this morning when he had the largest and most explosive poop of all time. It went right out the sides of his diaper, dripped down his little legs, got all up in his grill and all over my jeans. It was quite a catastrophe and I honestly had no clue what to do. I just stood there looking like an idiot, holding a poopy Jack. But trust Jenn the baby expert to step in and save me. She got him undressed, wiped down (using about a zillion wipes compared to my normal one) and even got one of Ben's old outfits for him to wear. What i would do without a friend like her. I think had I been at home alone I would have just dumped him in the tub clothes and all I was so icked out by the dripping poop.

So this post is for Jenn and her solicited and much apreciated advice.

B-ran

I consider myself very, very lucky to have the husband that I do. No matter how much Branden drives me insane somedays (and trust me he does drive me insane somedays) I love him more than anything and really am lucky to have such a loving and helpful husband.

The thing I think I like best about my husband, an attribute I"m trying my hardest to learn from him and hope our baby Jack inherits is his bluntness. Branden can come off a little harsh at first because he just speaks it as it is. But it is sooo easy living with a person who just always tells you what he is thinking. I never have to worry about what he's thinking and why, because he tells me. I never worry he's lying to protect my feelings, because he doesn't (even when I ask him to). My husband is the most honest and blunt person in the world and I love it. Some people probaly wouldn't, but I do. Now there are bad points to this bluntness like when I look hideous in an outfit I definately hear about it, but thats good in my eyes because it gives me the chance to change before I go out in public looking repulsive. I think that Branden's bluntness (and the bluntness I've learned to return to him) has made our relationship so much better and I appreciate that so much from him.

Branden is also pretty much the most loving person you will ever find. Not a day goes by that he doesn't tell me and show me dozens of times how much he loves me and nhow much he loves Jack. Again people probaly wouldn't realize this at first about Branden, but he's really a loving person. Everyday he makes an effort to tell me what I'm doing well, how beautiful he thinks I am (even though I currently have a gastric bypass patient stomach left over from wonderful Jack) and what a wonderful Mother I am. Its really quite wonderful that I get to hear these things every day.

Branden is also so helpful. Whenever I need something all I have to do is ask and he will do his best to serve me and get it done. I try my hardest not to take advantage of this because it is tempting sometimes to just ask for everything so I can be lazy, but I think that would backfire because then he would probaly lose this magnificent quality.

Anyways, who knows why, but I"m feeling mushy and entirely too in love with my husband today. He's away today (golfing with Jon and then in Brampton with this guy friends) from 7am to about midnight and I miss him profusely and apparently it has made me a big pile of mush.

One Fact for One Month

So my friend Jenn has a blog which I enjoy to read very much. In fact it is what has prompted me to begin my own blog (and Jenn I hope you don't mind) but I have decided to copy her idea. As her son ages each month she does a number of facts about him for how old he is and I just love it so I'm going to do it to.
So a few days late we have Jack's first One Fact for One Month

1. Jack farts like a man. Seriously no baby farts here. If I am in the other room and Branden is holding him I will hear farts from the other room at the other end of the apartment and have no way of distinguishing whether it was Branden or Jack (and Branden isn't exactly quite in his flatulence). When we were visiting my parents ward a few Sundays ago Jack let loose in Relief Society and it was so loud and magnificent it interupted the entire lesson! The teacher stopped and everyone stared. It was hilarious! Also his toots smell exactly like his Dads, its the weirdest thing EVER. Branden has signature toots, they all smell the same and I could pick them out of a crowd, and Jack's have the exact same signature. Its bizarre! My mom says I deserve this magnificent tooting baby. Both Branden and I have always found bodily functions hilarious and spent way too much of our life discussing them, hence we have my one month old that farts like a man.

Little Heffer

My dearest baby Jack was quite a puney little peanut when he was born. He came 2 weeks early and was only 6 pounds 13 ounces when he was born (which I am grateful for because I honestly don't think I could have managed anything larger, forceps snapping mid-delivery signify thats about all the baby I could handle). Its funny because before I had Jack I always said I wanted a big ol' fatty of a baby. I always thought fat babies were cuter than small babies. But I have to say my son was the exception to that rule. As tiny as he was he was totally adorable. No mutated head, he didn't look like he was anorexic or about to break, he was simply beautiful and I know its not just my motherly bias thats saying that. For the first few weeks of his life people would always say to us "he's really adorable, no I mean really adorable most newborns aren't". You know when people say that they are telling you the truth.

Anyways since his birth Jack has not stopped working on giving his Mommy the fat baby she always desired (although he's still not fat, he has a scrawny legs and tushy like his Daddy). We had his one month well baby doctors appointment on Tuesday and my little man weighed in at a whopping 9 pounds 11. ounces. He has put on nearly 3 pounds since he was born! Its ridiculous. I barely recognize my little guy anymore when I look at birth pictures! He's still adorable, just a whole lot more of him! In fact he now weighs what his best friend Ben (Jon and Jenn's baby) weighed when he was born.. he'll catch up one day!!

Jack when he was born


Jack now

My Screaming Baby

Right now my handsome son is sleeping peacefully curled up like a peanut on my chest and I must say his quite breaths in and out are probaly the most pleasant sound I have ever heard, mainly because this peaceful sound has been so rare the past few days.

Jack has never been a great sleeper, his best night ever he woke up only 3 times (and it was sheer bs 5 minutes, he is then easily comforted and drifts right back off to sleep. It takes me being up 20 minutes tops. In general he's been a really great and happy baby always easily comforted by either his Mommy or his Daddy.

BUT (and this is a big but) this last week he has suddenly become a beast child and I have no clue what it is. He cries and cries non-stop no matter what we do, we feed him, burp him, change him, play with him, hug him, cuddle him, rub his belly, EVERYTHING we can think of and he just cries. He's been waking up atleast 9 to 12 times a night and I'm about to die. How did my happy wonderful baby turn into this. The only thing that works for even 10 minutes is to put him in the swing (a big thankyou to Jon and Jenn for lending us that life saver!). If he's awake he's screaming and he screams until he tuckers himself out and goes to sleep.

We're wondering if its tummy troubles, so today we got some gripe water and we are hoping and praying that will work!!!